How do you overcome such a tragic loss as losing your own child? One of my dear friends that I've known for years lost her son on Saturday. He was barely a year old...a year old. I know he's with God now, but just - it breaks my heart.
I've had other dear friends who have lost their little ones over the past couple of years, and it breaks my heart every single time it happens. I can't imagine losing JJ. Every single day, I live in fear that I'll get a phone call that something's happened. Or he'll have an accident at home. Or that we'll get into a car accident on the way home. I know it's not logical to live in such fear, but I just can't help it. I'm already a worrier by nature, but after I became a mom, the worry factor tripled. I just can't imagine having that happen - I don't know if I'd make it. I barely slept the first six months he was around because of my fear that he'd stop breathing overnight...and I still don't sleep that well very often.
I hope and pray everyday that I'll get to raise my son into adulthood, that I'll get to be a grandmother and great-grandmother to his kids and grandkids. I know that God has a plan for all of us, and if that plans doesn't include raising my son to see his kids and grandkids, I'll have to find a way to accept that. I know, though, that I won't be the same if I ever lost him.
I just ask that you guys keep my friend in your thoughts and/or prayers. She really needs them right now. And to all the moms who lost their little ones too soon: I love and respect you women more than I'll ever be able to say.
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