My thoughts on the Casey Anthony trial. Mine. No one else's.

As a mother, I'm always on edge. From the day I found out I was pregnant, I went from sorta laid back to full-on panicky. If I didn't feel JJ move when he was supposed to be, I would freak out and drink apple juice to make him move. If his heartbeat didn't catch on the monitor while I was in labor, I'd freak out and hold my breath until the nurse found it. His cries make me drop everything, I don't sleep well at night because I'm afraid he might stop breathing [yes, even though he's now 2 1/2]...I'm telling you. Full-on panic mode, right here. It only switches off when JJ's with my mom, to be quite honest.

So, as a mother, I've been interested in the Casey Anthony trial since all this started going down...man, I can't even remember when this all started. I didn't watch most of the trial, but I kept up with it through news reports and friends who were watching it. As the evidence started coming out, my mind started ticking. What kind of parent doesn't report his/her child missing or - if the case arose - hurt right after it happens? Who does that? If anything happened to JJ, you best believe I'd be on the phone, at the police station, all over town trying to find him and figure out what was going on. My biggest, biggest fear is that something will happen to him and he won't come home ever again. It genuinely scares me.

I'm not saying that Casey Anthony was guilty or not guilty - I wasn't a part of that jury, I didn't hear or see all the evidence, so it's not my place to say if they made the right decision or not. Am I shocked that she was only found guilty of lying to police? A little, yes. A part of me thinks she may have done it, but that's just my personal feelings based on what I've heard and seen, not anything really concrete. All I'm saying is, as a mom, my child's well-being comes first. There are a lot of holes in this case, a lot of unanswered questions that makes me wonder. I think I'll always question if she really did it or not, to be quite honest. I just hope that she, as a person, can put this chapter behind her and learn from it.

As for Caylee...I feel so, so bad for that poor little girl. What happened to her? Was she murdered? She was an absolutely innocent 2-year-old who died under unusual circumstances. Can NOBODY not tell the world what happened to her, why she was buried, if she really died or not? Has this society seriously come down to "Well, if I tell a good enough lie and the truth doesn't have enough evidence, I'll get away with it"? Someone out there knows what happened to her and isn't telling, and THAT is the true tragedy here. No one gets to pay for what happened to that little girl, but Caylee is no longer here. It would kill me to not know what happened to my own child in a situation like this - why isn't Casey herself going after the answers? Does she know something we don't, and she's lying?

Like I said - I'm pretty sure I'll question this trial for the rest of my life. It makes me sick to my stomach to know that somebody out there got away with what they did to Caylee, and it may never come out. I continue to hope that, one day, the truth will come out - only the truth will truly put this, and Caylee, to rest.