Late night ramblings.

Ever since I got to high school, I've been a night owl. I've found that I do my best work at night, I get my energy spurts at night, and can pull all-nighters with ease [and a little mountain dew]. While those nights haven't happened nearly as much since I became a mom, I still hit my energy spurts at night. One night, I spent 1.5 hours cleaning my kitchen, bathroom and bedroom. It was insane but much-needed.

So tonight, at 12;30am, I'm still up. The wind is blowing like crazy, which isn't helping matters...but this will probably be the only night all week I stay up this late. And what have I done tonight? Watch football and adjust my fantasy teams. Well, and I did some stuff for work and talked to J, but nothing remotely productive. I still have a small pile of dishes waiting to be washed, sippy cups to be made for tomorrow, clothes to be laid out and a Halloween costume that needs to be laid out to dry. Did I mention yet that I'm the exact definition of a procrastinator? If not, I probably should now: I'm a big procrastinator. I honestly can't remember the last time I started a project early enough to not have to rush through it at the end. When my mom comes for football weekends, I clean the night before [or the day of for a late game] and barely get it done. It's just in my blood...not quite sure where it came from since my parents aren't really procrastinators, but oh well. Just the way it is.

I usually gain some clarity when I'm up by myself this late and doing things. While I hate washing dishes, I usually think about things while washing dishes [or listen to music if i want to tune the world out]. I find that this time of the night is when I think about where I've been, where I'm going, what I'm doing wrong and what I'm doing right. I think about the next day, week, month, year; I budget, worry, groan and build myself back up. I also have my most epic cries in the middle of the night, when no one can hear me or see me. The week J came home from tech school, I stayed up late most of the week and cried every single night. It's that time of the day when I let everything go and strip my emotions down. When I let reality hit me in the face, I dwell on it, then I tuck it away to prepare for the next day of work and mommyhood.

It's amazing how much I can get done at this point in the night. And, now that I've procrastinated even more, it's time for me to get that stuff done. Maybe, if I'm lucky, I'll be out by 1:30am. If not, at least tomorrow's Tuesday...inching closer to yet another weekend.