My hot topic of the week: last name change

So yesterday, one of my guy friends posted on FB a question for the ladies. He asked if they really wanted to keep their last name when they got married or if they were fine changing it. Almost every girl - and guy who chimed in - said they preferred the change. Stuff about how it's a small sign to show that you love someone, etc. etc.

Call it going against the grain or whatever, but I don't believe the woman has to change her last name when she gets married. I said that I hyphenated for a reason - because my last name is a part of me - and another person responded that my last name was a part of me when I was single. Taking the new last name meant I was starting something new. I'm sorry, but just because I get married doesn't mean my life changes. I had my last name for almost 23 years before J and I got married. I grew up with it. It's my family's name, my name, a part of my identity. I'm supposed to forget that part of me exists just because I get married? I don't think so.

I hyphenated because I only have one male cousin [that I know of] with my maiden last name. My dad just has girls, so there are no boys in our family to carry on the last name. I wanted to honor him and my family by keeping my last name and adding my husband's - and while he made a big deal about it up until we got married, I honestly don't see what the big deal is. Our son has my husband's last name, I just go by my married name formally, but legally, it's hyphenated. I honestly do not believe that the woman HAS to give up her last name just because she gets married. Call me a non-traditionalist or independent or whatever, but that's just me. Not dropping my maiden name doesn't mean I love my husband less, or that I am less committed to my marriage. It means that I want to keep a part of me while also moving into my new life. I'm not going to drop my "former" identity because I become a wife.

I didn't even really try to argue my point when people started chiming in, because it's pointless to start an argument with someone who has a different opinion than you. It's called an opinion for a reason. I'm not sure Joe's still used to the idea that I legally hyphenated my name, but he accepted it long ago. That's all that matters to me, not that someone else thinks I'm wrong because I decided to hyphenate.

*steps off soapbox*

1 comment:

Ashley said...

Yea I don't see the big deal. People can do what they want and arguing over it is pointless. I also think people should respect yours or anyone else for that matter, who decides to carry on their maiden name.