Five. Ten. Ten.

I really hate when I leave this blog dormant, so I'm just doing a random post today as an update of sorts. I know I've been pretty quiet since the rainbow post, and I need to snap out of it!

So. What do the numbers mean in my title? Here's what they mean

Five: The number of days until my sister gets married. Holy moly people. My little sister is getting married. It's still so hard for me to wrap my brain around the fact that she's actually going to have a husband. I don't know why - it's not like we're years and years apart - but it's just strange to me. Maybe it's because it's starting to hit home that we're both really grown ups now? I've found myself thinking of all the times we used to play together when we were little, the random crap we used to get into as we grew up...and now, she's getting married and moving on up in the world. It's just so weird to me.

Ten: The number of months we've been without Devon. His ten-month angelversary was a little more than a week ago, and that day hit me really hard. I'm not sure why that particular angelversary affected me so much - I was in a horrid, sad mood all day. Maybe it's because I'm starting to realize that it's almost been a YEAR since I had to say good-bye to my sweet baby boy? How are we at this point already? It's starting to hit me just how fast time goes by, even in the face of such a horrible event. It's also starting to hit me - again - that I will never get to raise him on this planet, and it really just sucks. I miss him more than I can put into words at this point.

Ten: The number of weeks pregnant that I am. Double digits, peeps! It's starting to feel more real now, this whole "we're having a baby!" thing. I've had a couple of more bleeding scares, the most recent landing me back at the hospital earlier today for yet another ultrasound. It's borderline embarrassing when the nursing staff recognizes you - this was my third trip in less than a month. Yikes. BUT, the great news is that Baby Sweet Pea is measuring on track, has a strong heartbeat of 179 beats per minute, and is a mover and a shaker. I got to see him/her actually jump around today, and I broke down all over again. To see my baby actually move his/her little arms and legs was overwhelming. I think every step of this pregnancy will be overwhelming.

I'm feeling better. Nausea's starting to go away, my appetite's starting to come back, but I've really got to take it easy. I overdid it this weekend, and I just can't be doing all that anymore. It sucks, especially as my energy starts to come back and I want to do more things, but I gotta take it easy for the sake of the baby and my health. I mean, don't get me wrong - I can be the laziest blob of human flesh you've ever met. It's just hard to do, though. :)


I'll have another update soon after my sister gets married [i can't wait to post pics from that]. But, for now, I leave you with my first bump pic. I don't plan to post any bump pics on FB, but I'll post some here every now and then.

From last week at about 9 1/2 weeks. There's a bump, alright.